1st XV vs St Ives RFC (H) Junior Vase R2

Having spent a week on business in Bulgaria smoking Marlboro lights at £2.50 a packet and drinking beer at 50p a pint, I arrived at the Stade in a relaxed frame of my mind. I was met by Dean sitting on the grass, B&H in hand and looking stressed. He greeted me with:

“Hi mate. Good week? By the way, we’re in the s**t!”

And so began an afternoon of fluctuating blood pressure, mood swings, drama and belly smashes.

A much-changed squad arrived in dribs and drabs for this 2nd round Junior Vase fixture against opposition who had travelled from Cambridgeshire, not Cornwall.

Jack and Dom hugged debutant Ross Gooch Gower Gatting Woollacott in the front row, BJ and Andy T were bent over and pushing like rhinos in the second row and the pack was completed by James T, Gary and the evergreen Greg Weaver in the back row.

SBS started at 9, Skipper Lowey at 10, Rob T and the Snake were in the centres and the back division was completed by Stow at full-back and Sam and Stotty on the wings. Baz, Oli and Myers were on the bench prowling the touchline.

The plan was to start fast and hope that St Ives were ‘still on the coach’ for the first 10 minutes – and that’s exactly what the Wheats did. Stow CARVED through the St Ives defence to dot down under the posts, SBS converting. This was followed up by a piece of individual BRILLIANCE from the Snake who identified space, chipped the ball over the defence and re-gathered to cross the line for a 5-pointer, SBS again adding the extras and the Wheats were sitting pretty 14-0 up after 15 minutes.

St Ives, who are unbeaten in their league this year and scoring tries for fun, were not going to roll over and die and started to get a foothold in the match. They were living off scraps as the Wheats front 5 were BOSSING at scrum and line-out time but made good use of the ball that they had. They managed to squeeze in for a converted try to reduce the deficit to 7 points at half-time – Wheats 14 St Ives 7.

At half-time, the Wheats were focussed on continuing to exert pressure in the tight, ensuring the defensive line was flat and together and making sure first up tackles were made.

The second-half started well with Wheats possession and territory forcing a penalty which SBS who was ON-FIRE with the boot, kicked to put the Wheats 10 points up.

St Ives realised it was now do or die and the next score would prove crucial. They got it too with some hard driving play resulting in another converted try which made the score 17-14 to the Wheats.

SQUEAKY BUM TIME and the start of the final 30 minutes of the match that would see; both momentum and the score change numerous times, my hair get greyer and Myers have his phone confiscated.

St Ives scored an unconverted try – 17-19, Wheats hit back with 2 SBS penalties – 23-19, St Ives scored a converted try – 23-26.

7 minutes remained on the clock and the Wheats trailed by 3. Behind the posts Lowey gathered his men together – it was DO OR DIE. Gallant losers (like the Welsh) or victorious heroes?

The Wheats chased the kick-off with vigour and SMASHED the St Ives catcher securing a turnover and possession just outside the St Ives 22.St Ives infringed and Rob T kicked the resultant penalty to within 5 metres of the try-line.

The Wheats smelt BLOOD.

St Ives were up for the battle however and repelled the Wheats driving mauls not once but twice. At the third time of asking, the Wheats moved the ball through the backs and the Snake JINKED his way over the line for a superb try and we were 28-26 up.

3 minutes to go – calm heads, concentration and focus were needed. Or failing that, attempt a DSP with teammates who have no idea what you are doing, knock on and give St Ives a scrum and the chance for glory with 90 seconds left on the clock – D’OH!

The Wheats front 5 put in an AWESOME EFFORT and Baz took the ball against the head. SBS broke blind, outpaced the back-row and blindside winger and sprinted into the opposition 22 before being scragged by the full-back. The ball was quickly recycled, moved right and the Snake SLITHERED in to complete his hat-trick and a momentous win for the Wheats. SBS added the extras and celebrated like a footballer!

So, after an afternoon of ups and downs, the Wheats find themselves in the last 16 of the Midlands stage of the Junior Vase for the first time in the writer’s memory. It was SHEER BALLS that got them there in the end and congratulations to all 18 players on a job well done.

Final Score: Wheats 35 - 26 St Ives

Match report by Mase